The Clearing Space

Change is good.... Your Help Requested!

Change is good... change is good... change is good!

My new mantra.

Half the kitchen was ripped out today. No oven, no microwave, no hotplates... dinner tonight is going to challenge my creativity!

3-minute noodles, anyone?

Actually, have sandwich press - can do toasted sandwiches!

I have never renovated a house I was living in before. And never renovated a kitchen before. We've been here for 13 years, the house is older than that, the original kitchen was looking a bit sad. I promised Chris I'd take before and after photos. Only, I didn't remember until the oven, microwave and half the cupboards had been ripped out this morning that I wanted to take photos.

I'll post the 'during' and the 'after' photos together once the reno is complete.

I promise that this won't turn into a 'renovators delight' blog... honest!

But what it brings up for me is my reaction to all this. People keep saying to me - you must be so excited!

I'm NOT. There is too much work, too much disruption for me to get excited. I'll be excited, or deliriously pleased at least, once all the work is done, once the last workman leaves the house, once the boxes and bags are all emptied and everything has been assigned a place and is residing therein.

But as we are doing the kitchen, then the laundry, then the floors of the entire house, then a little bit of painting (can you hear the big sigh??) it's not going to be over in a week. Not even in a month!

I'd love to have it all done by Easter but I really don't like my chances.

So, no, I am not excited.

BUT. I'm calm. And that, my friends, is the key ingredient today. Being calm, not getting flustered. Coping well. If my attitude is calm, then those of my family won't get to fever pitch during the upheaval (I hope!).

And I am begging you - any tips at all from those of you that have lived through a renovation and survived to tell the tale can give me - please, please leave a comment or email me?

A Love Affair with Books...

Where is human nature so weak as in the bookstore?

                ~ Henry Ward Beecher

For a self-confessed book addict like myself, my life is a constant love affair with books. Going into a book shop, for me, is like being a child in a lolly shop... total temptation!

And so it was only natural that when Rosa sent out the call for contributors to the 3rd Annual Love Affair with Books - this year being hosted at Joyful, Jubilant Learning for the first time, I took up the challenge and put up my hand to review Do Less, Acheive More by Chin-Ning Chui.

And now, February is over and with the herald of autumn here in Australia comes the start of the love affair.

Every day throughout the month of March there will be reviews posted by a fantastic list of people - you can see the program here. I am excited about this - the list of books looks terribly promising and I can feel numerous book shop visits or Amazon orders coming on... hmmm, so this love affair will be good for the heart, but maybe not so good on the wallet :) I'll no doubt be writing more posts, sporadically through the month on this affair... the books... the contributors...

The first review is up - great work Tim, you've set a rollicking standard right at the start! Let the Love Affair with Books 2007 begin...

Catching the 'why we blog' virus

Why do I blog?  Well, this particular post is because my dear friend Chris from Pink Apple tagged me!  Can that be reason #1?

Seriously, this meme has been getting round for a while now, and some - like Rosa, and Tony, left the tag open for any who felt like taking up the challenge. And I really didn't at that stage.  They all came up with brilliant, personal, detailed reasons why they blog.  And THEIR reasons challenged me, more than anything else...

But now that Chris has named names and put me in the glare of the headlights, I'm going to accept the challenge to tell five reasons why I blog.

1.    Blogging helps me write about what I need to learn, and in the writing of it, the learning appears.

2.    Writing for an audience, especially a virtually instant audience, means I need to brave, courageous and all those words that shove fear back into a box... and that is good for my soul

3.   I am constantly amazed at the connections I make throughout the world... the friendships that I have made, and continue to make through blogging make it all worthwhile.

4.    Blogging helps develop that level of intimacy, immediacy, respect and trust with potential clients - they already feel they know and trust me before we ever connect, and it can act as a filter to those who don't feel that way.

5.   I simply love it.

Alright, I'm taking a leaf out of Rosa and Tony's books... if you'd like to share some of the reasons why you blog... please do! And if you'd rather hide away, well, fair enough!

Taking the bait - learning in January

Rosa, in her inimitable style, has thrown out yet another challenge.  It's taken me a while to take it up, but I hate to be left behind or thought not up to the challenge (that terrible, competitive streak that sneaks out every now and again.)

Over at Joyful, Jubilant Learning recently, Rosa asked us to - quick fire - state five things we learned in January. The ones that come off the top of our head.

Then yesterday, Chris posted her 5... and in a moment of weakness I said I'd join in...

Then today, on Rosa's Talking Story blog, she's put up a list of who has taken up the challenge so far.

Wait!  Wait!  Is it too late for me to come along too?

Here's 5 things I have learned so far this year...

1. Taking a break away from home, away from routine, away from the every-day is an absolute necessity for mind, body and soul
2. I am able to sit and do nothing without getting twitchy.  It IS possible. When I am on holidays and have sufficiently wound down, that is...
3. Dogs need regular exercise - big dogs need even more regular exercise. I am loving our daily walks together as I try to deplete their energy stores a fraction.
4. Celebrations are important - and we need to celebrate regularly (not just when it's someone's birthday) with all the little things... (no, Chris - not just a reason to open a bottle of champers... I don't need a reason to do that:)
5. Don't let anyone, ever, steal your dreams.  Hold them close.  Guard them well.

What I Learned This Year...

At Instigator Blog, Ben Yoskovitz is asking us to join in a group writing project by looking back in time and asking the question "What did you learn this year?"

As this has been a huge year for me, I figured I was probably up for the challenge, although I am sure my list will not be complete - there was just so much happening and so much learning came from that.

Thanks for putting this together, Ben, I think it's a great way to end a year, and will make the task of setting the framework for 2007 so much easier.

 

This year I learned:

• ...I am a dog person.  Who ever knew???  Certainly not me.
• ...I truly am meant to be self-employed. Corporate life drains my soul.
• ...the value of really good friends.  And partnerships.  Working closely with Chris on SOXS has been a joyous experience for me.
• ...I am tougher than I ever thought. And more productive that I ever knew (when I am motivated:)
• ...a laptop really is vital to my sanity
• ...that 20 years of marriage means we're just getting started
• ...stress and travel for work, when combined, take a huge toll on my health
• ...time out is absolutely necessary, especially when we think we haven't got the time
• ...the hardest part of parenting is learning to let go
• ...I am stronger and fitter than I was at the beginning of the year
• ...I can trust my intuition/gut instinct
• ...the law of attraction really DOES work
• ...sometimes the only way to get over something is to go through it
• ...the world really is flat - thanks and huge hugs to all those friends I have made around the world this year - you've all added something very special to my life and I wouldn't be here without you
• ...there is a lesson for me in every experience, good and bad, and that the trick is to work out what that lesson is
• ...I need to spend more time at the piano keyboard and less at the computer keyboard
• ...that to be successful and happy in my business, I need to follow my passion, not just what I am good at (this will show itself in 2007 ...)
• ...I cannot write well and authentically from the heart unless I am engaged in what I am writing about (evidenced by blank spaces in my blog, and many deleted drafts...)
• ...the choice of The Clearing Space as the name for my business becomes clearer and clearer each day
• ...that I love - really relish - writing and that I AM a writer (in my eyes, anyway)
• ...not to worry so much about what other people might think
• ...life is definitely too short to drink cheap wine
• ...life truly IS better after 40
• ...that a snuggle on the couch beats a night on the town
• ...that it might be time to go get my eyes tested - they are making the writing on jars and bottles smaller and smaller... [grin]
• ...without music, my life would be grey
• ...I need to live from the outside-in, to balance my inside-out tendencies
• ...taking care of everyone else is good, but that taking care of myself must be paramount in order to do that
• ...bloggers are some of the most generous, kind and wise people I have ever met
• ...that in learning, we grow.

Hmmm... now that I look back on it, it has been a tremendous year for growth.  Thanks one and all for aiding in that!

I was going to start naming names in thanks - but decided you all know who you are (and the list is long...) so I'll just say -

Thanks from the bottom of my heart for accepting me into your worlds.

My challenge to you (should you choose to accept it)

Can you define what you have learned this year?

How is that going to impact your life in 2007?

Once I wrote this list, and actually got it out of my head, I found there are a lot of actions in there to follow up on next year... and a lot more inspiration for where I am headed... the headlights are on, I can see the way ahead!

First thing - I am going to make that appointment with the optometrist...

PS - Why not join in and write your own answer to the question "What Did You Learn This Year", then let Ben know you've done it???  He's donating $5 to charity for every post written!  Way to go Ben.

Oh, and he is also giving away prizes...

The Wallace household is no longer a pet-free-zone!

I have been remiss in not sharing this wonderful news with you earlier.  But I have to admit that 'earlier' I actually doubted my sanity in allowing this to happen.  But now, now we wouldnt have it any other way.

What am I talking about?

In July, the Wallace's became proud owners of two gorgeous Doberman puppies - Zeus and Ebony.  They are brother and sister, out of a litter of 11.  And we are all besotted!  This week, they had their de-sexing operations, and they are still feeling a little sorry for themselves - Ebony especially since it is a much bigger operation for a girl (I know, I know, the boys dont agree, but they cannot argue with the size of the scar or the number of stitches!!)

It has been 18 years since we last had a dog and it has been a really steep learning curve for me and the rest of the family.

The kids are old enough that they all take an active part in the caring/feeding/walking and playing with the puppies.  We all took it in turns to do Puppy Preschool (we separated the dogs, so we were going two nights a week, which meant we could split the family as well so we didn't fill the class all by ourselves!)

People ask us - why did you change your mind?  What made you get a dog now?  And why TWO dogs??  The answer to the last question is the easiest - we never do things by halves!!  And we thought that two would be great company for each other. 

Why now?  That really is a hard question to answer.  We don't really know - we just started talking about getting a dog one night at the dinner table, and it went from there.  We always talked about if we ever got a dog - one day - that it would be a Dobey - so the breed was never a question (even though others have questioned our decision...)

But once we decided that it might be about time to get a dog, we did some research - talked to the Dobermann club, and thought about getting a rescue dog that was past the puppy stage and needed a good home.  We came THIS close to getting a pair of rescue Dobeys from Sydney - their owners were moving from acreage to a town house and were seeking the perfect home for their pair - and we were at the stage of pricing air freight to get them here when the owners decided they couldn't part with them after all.

That was when we realised that two dogs would be our ideal.  Rescue Dobeys come up rarely and there are a lot of people on the list when one does.  There were no guarantees we'd get one in the forseeable future.  We looked at the shelters, but most of them go through the clubs for pure-breeds, or even half-breeds anyway. 

Given that we were total novices at dog training, after much family dinner-table discussion, we decided to go for puppies and picked our two out of a local litter when they were 9 weeks old.  Well, actually, they picked us.  Ebony went straight to Gorgeous Girl the minute she got out of the car, and Zeus picked G - just came and sat in front of him, and looked way up at him, with those huge paws and big brown eyes.  G picked him up, and that was that.  He'd been picked!

The top photo is Ebony at 10 weeks; the second Zeus at the same age; and the last photo was taken at 5 months - they have grown so much!

We have learned so, so much from them - it's a constant learning experience of the most positive type.  I guess the biggest lesson for us is the unconditional love and affection they give to us all - they are always excited to see us, and cannot get enough pats and tummy rubs.  I think I have learned as much as the kids, not just about caring and training a dog - but also subtle things - like rewarding positive behaviour and ignoring (wherever possible) bad behaviour.  It's a lesson every parent should be reminded of, often!!!

Feeling your Environment

Our environment plays such a big part in how we feel, how productive we are, and how we cope with things every single day.

This was brought home to me recently as I once-and-for-all fixed a few niggly things in my office.  Replaced a clunky old computer screen with a lovely 17" flat screen (cannot believe the difference that makes, not only in space to work, but also in aesthetics!).  Got rid of the scungy old desk pad and replaced with a nice new clear desk protector, under which I have placed my year planner for next year (too late to get one for this year!).  Threw out three big boxes of old lever arch folders, ugly magazine holders, in trays, and the like.  All saved because they were still useful (just really, really ugly!!)  Got totally up to date with my filing.  Added some lovely scented candles, and loaded some great music onto itunes on my laptop.

Ahhh, that not only feels better, I cannot believe how much more focussed and productive I feel.

And it isnt just about clearing away junk, or getting 'organised' by doing the filing.  It's much more about how my environment affects me on all levels - how it looks, how it feels, how it smells, how it sounds...  and unconsciously, once I started to work on the look, then the sound, the smell, the feel just came through naturally.

What can you do today on any level in your environment that will have ripple effects on the other levels - and how does that feel to you?

Leaving an impression

It was a really, really busy week this week.  Monday being the Queen's Birthday holiday didnt help any either, although I suppose my house did start the week relatively tidier than normal, as I did a lot of catch-up stuff on Monday.

But then the rest of the week was short, and packed with meetings and commitments.  Each night I would take a deep breath before launching into plans and preparation for the next day.  And it didnt help that Captain Scarlett had his final two exams for the semester on Wednesday and Thursday and was home the rest of the week (and expecting to be taxied places, as well).

Last night saw me out on the back verandah assisting Gorgeous Girl to papier mache the nile valley - my fingers were frozen solid by the time we got the first layer of one side of the river done.  I see a few more days and evenings of cold glue mix & newspaper ahead this week.

Thank goodness Monday is back to normal school for a whole week before they break for the winter school holidays.

Because Captain Scarlett hasnt been going to school regularly for the past two weeks in exam block, he has missed a few rugby training sessions.  And he had an interesting conversation with his rugby coach (who also happens to be his form teacher, swim team manager and water polo manager - so we know him quite well...) who was remarking on the lack of attendance at training. 

Apparently 'Coach' said to Captain Scarlett - 'you havent got any excuse, your Mum could have brought you in - she doesnt work' (or words to that effect).

Hmmmmphhhh!!!

Of course, Captain Scarlett quickly set him straight.

Mum works all right!  It may seem she has all the free time in the world to play taxi driver and support team, but really, it's all an illusion!

I have worked completely from home for the past seven years.  Prior to that I telecommuted one or two days a week, and went into the office the other days - starting way back in about 1994.

I made the decision along the way, amidst having babies, that working from home so I could be here for my children when they needed me was worth any sacrifice in terms of career progression and social interaction.  I got the social interaction outside work hours, and career progression - well I went as far as I wanted to go, rather than as far as I could.

I never regretted that decision.  But, I guess that is a story for another day when I have a little more time to spare.

What occured to me, though, when I heard what Coach thought was, because I appeared to be available to my children it was automatically assumed that I did not work.

It made me think about the impression I give people who know me outside my business-woman persona.  And I realised that as a Mum, I'm giving the impression of being a dedicated full-time presence for my children.  And I guess turning up to the school gate in jeans and t-shirt would do nothing to dispel that notion.

And you know, now I have thought this through, and got over my initial indignation that he thought I didn't work (the "how dare he??" reaction...) I realise that it really is OK that people see me as fully there for my kids.  Obviously I am doing a good enough job of being present for my children and juggling my responsibilities that their teachers see me in that way.

Writers Dilemma

Have you ever had something you wished to say or express, you know - that thought right there foremost in your mind - and yet when you actually went to get it out of your head and into words, it all came out wrong?

I was creating a blog post over the weekend.  And I'd get it to the stage where I could almost, almost grasp at the core of what I wanted to say.  Only whenever I'd get a spurt on - thinking 'YES! this is IT'.

It wasnt.

It was almost like what I wanted to say was there, sitting beside me so I could see it in the corner of my eye, and if I could just turn my head fast enough to look at it directly, it would all become clear.  Only of course, when I turn my head, it stayed way out there in the periphery, never coming into clear focus.

Sooo, I have let it go.   And I am wondering whether other bloggers out there have this problem.  Or is it only me, because my mind has so much stuff crammed in there every day, that clear thoughts are smothered.

Of course, tomorrow is a new day, and the gift of time and patience could well mean the next time I sit in front of my computer (oh boy, is this laptop GREAT!!!) that all of sudden it will move out from my peripheral vision, and be crystal clear in front of me.  I'm trusting that will happen.

Buying Books on Amazon - do your homework

For those of you who know me well, you'll know I am a book-aholic.  And of course, Amazon is one of my favourite internet sites to while away odd minutes (which can, almost magically it seems, turn into hours!!!)

You know those lists they provide on Amazon of recommendations based on what you have bought, added to your wishlist or viewed?  I am slightly addicted to this list.

As I was browsing, seeing what gems they recommended for me today - I came upon a book called Optimal Thinking.  (I wont give the details here, it's not relevant).  I clicked through and read the online reviews - which I often find quite useful when I cannot actually touch the book and make a tactile decision.  In this case, something prompted me to see if there was a website based on the book.  Google search.  Yup - there it was at the top of the search, and as I clicked into that result, something caught my eye further down the results page.  Steve Pavlina's name. 

Now I know Steve's name from my blog surfing. . . I've enjoyed his writing from time to time.  And here was a link to a review of this book he did on his blog (back in 2004!).  No contest - this was where I clicked through to.  And because I have already read his blog before, and respect what Steve has to say - I read his review, then went back to Amazon and clicked Not Interested next to this book in my recommendations list.

I am going to google any unknown books BEFORE I add them to my Amazon wish list in future (and will look for blog posts in particular) - this could save me a fortune!

And any way of culling my reading list has got to be good.  At the moment my reading list is so long, I think I'm not going to finish all these books before I'm 90 - let alone all the wonderful books yet to be published!

So, how do you decide what books to read and which ones to avoid?  And, especially, which books to spend your money on, and which ones to leave on the shelf?